The Process of Time
by catherine.cat33
Summary: Sequel to The Works, or rather, The Works in Progress...READ THOSE FIRST!  Each chapter will be a different year in the life of Clare, Drew, and their baby Lena...ups, downs, deaths, births; you name it...it MIGHT be in here!READ AND REVIEW! *Hiatus*
1. Lena, age 2: Wedding

**Author's Note: Hey there...this is the SEQUEL to The Works, or rather, The Works in Progress...ENJOY my dear lovely readers!**

**Disclamer: I do not own Degrassi...or the songs...just Lena! The song Clare sings is called BREATHE by Faith Hill...listen to it!**

_Chapter One: A Moment Like This_

Lena, in her baby blue gown toddles down the aisle of the church with Chloe on her heels. The little girls smiling and laughing as they walk down the aisle. Then walks Clare's wedding party.

"I don't think I can go through with this." Clare says panicking. She waves her hand in front of her made-up face. Peter, her brother-in-law, tries to calm her down.

"Clare, come on. This is what you wanted. This is your wedding day." he says.

"I know…but I….I just….I don't know….I need….I need air." she walks to the front door and steps outside.

Inside the church the wedding march starts, but Peter walks in and tells the piano player to stop.

Darcy walks out of the church and goes over to Clare. "What's wrong?" she asks her sister.

Clare turns to her, teary eyed, "Darce…"

"Clare, come on…it's your wedding. I was nervous then too. Come on. Let's go inside."

"But, Darce, I don't know about this."

"Clare, you love Drew?"

The seventeen year old nods.

"Then what's stopping you? Hon, everyone is in there, waiting for you. It's your wedding day. Don't overanalyze this. Live in the moment. Not to sound geeky, but Carpe Diem! Come on. Get your ass in the chapel or I will drag you in there." Her sister smiles to her and holds out her hand. Clare takes it in her own and uses her free hand to hike up the ivory pick up skirt. They walk into the lobby and Darcy goes back into the church nodding to the pianist to begin playing again. Peter looks to Clare.

"Ready?" he asks offering her his hand.

"More than." she smiles and rests her hand on his arm.

The march rings high in the church as Clare, escorted by Peter, walks down the aisle towards Drew. Behind him stands KC, Declan, Adam, and even Eli has a place there. Clare and Peter stop at the front and Peter kisses her cheek before sitting down. Behind Clare stands Darcy, Alli, Mia, Fiona, Jenna, and Holly J.

After the I do's they journey back to Above the Dot, which has become their spot, for the party.

After a few songs the DJ announces it's time for the first dance.

The song "A Moment Like This." echoes through the place.

Then Clare kisses Drew before going to the mic.

"Hi everybody. Thank you for coming to my wedding. So, by now all of you have heard Drew sing; twice as a matter of fact, both times for me. But, I've never sung anything for him, until now. Drew, I love you…

I can feel the magic floating in the air  
Being with you gets me that way  
I watch the sunlight dance across your face and I've  
Never been this swept away  
All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze  
When I'm lying wrapped up in your arms  
The whole world just fades away  
The only thing I hear  
Is the beating of your heart  
'Cause I can feel you breathe  
It's washing over me  
Suddenly I'm melting into you  
There's nothing left to prove  
Baby all we need is just to be  
Caught up in the touch  
The slow and steady rush  
Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be  
I can feel you breathe  
Just breathe  
In a way I know my heart is waking up  
As all the walls come tumbling down  
I'm closer than I've ever felt before  
And I know  
And you know  
There's no need for words right now  
'Cause I can feel you breathe  
It's washing over me  
Suddenly I'm melting into you  
There's nothing left to prove  
Baby all we need is just to be  
Caught up in the touch  
The slow and steady rush  
Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be  
I can feel you breathe  
Just breathe  
Caught up in the touch  
The slow and steady rush  
Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be  
I can feel you breathe  
Just breathe  
I can feel the magic floating in the air  
Being with you gets me that way."

The crowd claps and Drew walks onto the stage and pulls Clare into a passionate kiss.

**Author's Note: Well? **

**xoxoxo Cat**


	2. Lena, age 3: Two Births and a Divorce

**Author's Note: Hello there….this is year three of Lena's life…enjoy!**

**Disclamer: I only own the kid,…not Degrassi**

_Chapter 2: Tell Me_

Clare walks into Lena's room to find Drew playing with their three year old daughter.

"Hey." she says causing both of the rooms occupants to turn around and stop laughing. Drew stands up and walks over to her, resting his hands on her waist.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"Uh, I'm pregnant." she replies.

"Really?" he wasn't angry or upset like he had been when she had gotten pregnant with Lena, and this caused Clare to tilt her head to the left and stare at him quizzically.

"You know this means another baby…right?"

He nods, "I know what pregnant means Clare. How, how long have you known?"

"About a week, I'm almost three months. I can't believe I didn't check it out sooner."

"Don't blame yourself."

"I'm going to the doctor's office…watch Lenny for me." With the mention of her name the little girl comes running—or, an awkward running tripping game—over to her parents and motions for her mom to pick her up, which Clare gladly does. She looks at Lena for a moment, with her sapphire blue eyes, her father's brilliantly white smile, and her auburn curls.

"Can I come?" Lena asks.

"Sorry. But, you do get to play with your dad." she hands her to Drew who starts spinning making the little girl giggle. "Bye."

With that Clare walks down the stairs and out the door. She gets into her car and drives to the doctor's office. When she gets in, Dr. Truman smiles and walks her to the sonogram room.

"Morning Clare."

"Hi." Clare lifts up her shirt and the doctor begins to put gel on her stomach and looks at the screen.

"You're carrying twins, again, do you want to know the sexes?"

Clare nods.

The doctor clicks on the computer screen and a buzzing sound comes from across the room. The doctor slides over to the other side, and comes back with a sheet of paper. "You're carrying a boy and a girl, like last time."

"Let's hope this isn't like last time. I don't want to lose another baby." Clare replies as she wipes her stomach off.

"Do want any pictures?"

"Just two." she smiles. The printer buzzes again and the doctor hands Clare two pictures before she heads out.

* * *

Nine months later Clare, sits in the hospital as the doctor tells her to push. Darcy stands next to Clare on one side, Drew on the other. Peter sits out in the waiting room watching Lena, and Chloe, who is now six.

"Come on Clare! Push!" the doctor screams. Clare lets out a scream as she pushes. "Good, I can see the head."

"Breathe Clare." Drew reminds her. She takes a deep breath and glares at him before letting out another scream and pushing out the baby boy.

"Come on Clare, one more baby." The doctor says. "PUSH!"

Clare, instead of making a witty comment, screams and pushes.

"Come on. I see her head."

Clare pushes once more before she hears a cry. She falls back onto the bed and sighs.

"You can go get other family know."

Darcy squeezes Clare's hand lightly before walking out to get the three others. The doctor walks over to Clare's side, flanked by two nurses who hold onto each of her babies.

Clare takes the boy and smiles down to his head of black peach fuzz, and his green eyes which are fluttering shut. Drew takes the girl and smiles at her this black hair and her baby blue eyes.

"Names?" he asks Clare.

"James. James David Torres."

"I like it. What about the girl?"

"Camille?" she offers.

"Sure. Camille Theresa Torres."

* * *

Three months pass, and they move into a bigger house. The new house has three bathrooms, a kitchen, a basement, an attic, a living room, a home office, and six bedrooms. So, now coming home was easy, they have the new rooms made up for the two new babies.

So, two months after that, when Camille and James are both five months, the same scene that happened over a year ago happens.

Except this time it's Drew who sighs loudly to get Clare's attention. She turns to him and walks over a smile on her face.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"My mom's sick." he says. "I need to go to Dallas."

"I'll come with you," she smiles.

"Actually, I think it would be best if I went alone."

"Why?"

"My parents are still uneasy about you Clare. Adam and I are heading out early tomorrow, so I was gonna head over there tonight."

"Oh…okay, tell Adam I say hi."

He kisses her temple and lingers there before he takes his suitcases and walks out the front door.

It was a surprise when, two days after he left for Dallas, Clare got the divorce papers.

**Author's Note: Okay…this went a bit into year four, but the next chapter will be year four of Lena's life…**

**Oh, it is possible not to know your pregnant…remember Jenna…okay that's a bad example, but you know what I mean!**

**xoxoxo Cat**


	3. L age 4, J and C 8 months: Savior?

**Author's Note: Well…hello there people of the world. Has anyone ever wondered, "Do the Degrassi actors read these fanfictions?" I don't know why, but I just thought about that…**

**Disclamer: I do not own Degrassi…just the kids…**

_Chapter 3: A Light in Darkness_

It's been a month since Clare and Drew finalized their divorce. Entirely the whole process took about two months because both parties, while angered, where both civil. Now, it's November…and it's James and Camille's first Thanksgiving. Lena keeps asking about why she doesn't see her daddy anymore. And, all Clare can think about is what she and Drew had had planned for this upcoming Christmas, the presents they were going to buy for the kids, the Christmas card they'd send out. _How could I be so stupid?_ Clare thinks as she sits on the couch, untangling lights from a box, _Of course Drew wouldn't want me. I ruined his life by getting pregnant and actually keeping the baby!_ She shakes the thoughts out of her head and focuses on the task ahead.

Since she finished her high school classes, Clare has moved on to taking college courses online because due to having a family she can't really go away to school. Lena started pre-school in the fall just after Drew left. And, now, between class work and two eight month olds to take care of Clare hardly gets any much needed down time.

When the doorbell chimes she hops out of her seat and opens it with a smile.

"You rang?" she asks.

"You called?" Eli smirks stepping in to the house.

"I need your help!" she whines. Eli does a 360◦ and his eyes fall over every surface of the walk-in area.

"Don't you have kids?" he asks. She sighs, and Eli just smirks. "Chill Edwards. LENNY!"

"Eli!" Lena comes running down the stairs and jumps into Eli's arms.

"Hey kiddo. What's this?" he gestures towards the mess.

She giggles, "We were playing games."

"Oh, really?" he asks causing her to laugh harder.

"Yea." she smiles.

"Why don't you clean up." he puts her down on the ground.

"And then we can get ice cream?" she asks.

"Only if your mom says it's okay." he replies turning to Clare.

"Please mommy!" she exclaims.

"Fine. But, you better clean up this mess." Clare replies. Lena squeals and then goes into the room to start cleaning. Clare turns to Eli, "How do you do that?"

"What can I say, I'm a good guy."

"Thanks Eli…I really need all the help I can get. I hope you weren't doing anything."

He shrugs, "I'm home on break. What else do I have to do? Like I said; I'm here if you need me."

"Thanks Eli."

"You're welcome Clare. Need help with anything else?"

"I don't think…" Clare gets cut off with the cry of a baby. "James."

"I got it." Eli walks up the stairs and goes into the room. Clare follows him and stands in the doorway watching as Eli sits in the rocking chair and rocks James back to sleep. Ten minutes later James is snoring. Eli turns back to Clare and she looks at him, "What?"

He walks out of the room and over to Clare, gently closing the door behind him.

"What?" he repeats.

"I never knew you were so great with kids." she smiles.

"I have two nieces and three nephews, and aside from my brothers I'm the oldest cousin on both sides of my family."

"Wow." she replies.

"Yea…"

Lena comes running up the stairs and pulls on Eli's pant leg, "I finished cleaning."

"Let's go kid." he ruffles her hair and she goes back down the stairs. Eli and Clare walk down the staircase next to each other, both of them turning to say something, but neither of them speak. When they reach the bottom of the stairs, they hug each other, lingering longer then they should.

"Get me some ice cream." Clare calls out as the two walk to Morty. Clare sighs and heads into the study where she begins working on her essay.

An hour later when Eli and Lena come home Lenny runs right upstairs while Eli goes into the study finding Clare sound asleep on her laptop keyboard. He walks over to her, and puts her ice cream down on the desk as he beds down so his head is at the height of hers. He taps her lightly on the shoulder, and her head shoots up. He laughs and she glares at him.

He pushes a strand of hair out of her face and sees a familiar blush appear on her face for a fleeting moment. "I got you a cookie monster cup with rainbow sprinkles and gummy bears."

She smiles and opens the cup, taking the plastic spoon and putting a spoonful in her mouth, "You remembered?"

"Yea, how could I forget? It's one of the more childish ice creams."

"Thanks Eli." she smiles and goes into the kitchen. He follows her and she sits on top of the island counter, "hand me an actual spoon?"

He open the drawer and hands her a spoon and their fingers touch. Eli walks closer to Clare, and Clare slides off of the island putting down the ice cream before turning back to Eli. When she turns back to him their eyes lock and their lips meet.

A month passes, and now it's Christmas. Clare and

* * *

Eli sit down and watch as Lena opens up her one gift that she can open on Christmas Eve. It turns out it's a picture frame of her and Clare in the snow.

"When does Santa come?" she asks as she crawls into Clare's lap. Upstairs James and Camille are fast asleep.

"As soon as you fall asleep." Clare replies. Eli smiles to her, and she returns it with one of her own.

"Then can I go to bed now!" Lena asks.

Clare laughs, "You know the tradition…"

"Fine." Lena sighs and leans back onto her mom.

"Eli could you pass me the…"

But, Eli already has the book in his hands and he hands it to her.

"'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse."

Halfway through the story Lena falls asleep, but Clare keeps reading. When she finishes she takes Lena in her arms and then walks up the stairs into Lenny's room. She pulls the pink covers up to her chin, kisses her forehead and turns the lights off before heading out of the room.

"Hey there Edwards." Eli smirks from the couch.

"Hey Eli." Clare slides down next to him and he kisses her cheek.

"You know, I was thinking, what if I stayed over tonight?"

"Eli…what will Lena think?"

"I don't know…" he continues kissing her neck. The doorbell rings and Clare jumps off the couch.

"ADAM!" she asks. He walks in, his eyes are bloodshot. "What happened?"

"My mom died." he cries.

"When?" Clare asks.

"A week ago. She was so sick Clare. It was horrible. She just…she couldn't take it…her body gave up on her. She died in her sleep."

"Oh, Adam." Clare hugs him. Adam pulls away when he notices who stands behind her.

"What's Eli doing here? Clare, what about Drew?"

"Adam…Drew had me served. We got divorced. Eli…I don't know what he is right now."

Eli storms past her, "Don't know what I am!"

"Eli…wait…"

"Save it Clare. Whatever this is…it's through."

The door slams shut.

Adam speaks up, "Clare…Drew is depressed. He's been like that since we went to Dallas. I think you should call him."

"Adam…I…he…we…" she stutters.

"Look, it's just a suggestion. You don't have to, but I think you should."

They look around.

"Do you need someplace to stay?"

He nods, "Sure."

"Lena will be so happy to see her Uncle Adam."

He laughs, "I can't wait to see her. And the two babies."

That night, as Clare lies in bed, she closes her eyes. She pictures how Drew might react if she calls him.

**Author's Note: Well? Did you like it? Hate it?**

**Review prompt(s): Should she call? **

**xoxoxo Cat**


	4. L age 5, C and J age 1: Domino's Chase

**Author's Note: Hey there guys! Remember...these chapters are only SPECIFIC parts of their year...ENJOY**

**Disclamer: i do not own Degarssi**

_Chapter 4: The Domino Effect_

On January twelfth, the night before Lena's birthday, Clare lies in bed and lets her mind drift back to Drew. This has happened a lot since Adam came back, now he lives in the guest room. She sighs and turns over, trying to fall asleep. Then the phone rings. She picks it up and mumbles a hello.

"Clare…it's me."

And although Clare wants to hang up, she doesn't.

"Drew…"

"I know who you are Drew."

"I've missed you." he slurs.

"Drew? Are you drunk?"

"Nah…I just had one…two…five beers."

"I'm hanging up now Drew." and she goes to put the phone down when she hears his plea for her not to.

"Clare…"

"I'm still here Drew."

Silence.

"Drew?"

"Yea?"

"Is there something you wanted?"

"I…I was wondering if I could come over for Lena's birthday tomorrow."

She takes in a deep breath, "You called me at one in the morning to ask me this? Drew, you're drunk. Get yourself together."

"Clare…I want to come tomorrow."

"I don't…"

"Clare, please, I need to come tomorrow."

She takes in a deep breath. "Four p.m. no later than that. If your late then…don't bother."

They say goodbye and hang up. Both of them, in their separate rooms in their separate houses flop back onto their bed and look at the ceiling.

_I can't believe I said yes. _Clare thinks.

_I can't believe she said yes._ Drew thinks.

* * *

The next day at three o'clock Drew walks in through the front door.

"Daddy!" Lena squeals and jumps into his arms.

"Hey Lenny." he squeezes her tightly before dropping her to the floor. She runs to her friends and Drew heads into the kitchen to find Clare putting the finishing touches on a cake. "Clare."

"I thought I said four."

"Who knew the party would be in full swing now though?"

"Drew…" she sighs and drops the icing container and turns to him, "Why are you here?"

"I thought you might need some help here. What can I do?"

She starts listing off things that he can do.

Later that night, after everyone's left and all three kids—along with Adam—have fallen asleep, the only two people left are Drew and Clare. They're cleaning up the kitchen.

"I'm sorry." they both say at the same time. They look to each other.

"You can go first." he says.

"I…I'm sorry about your mom Drew. I was going to call, but I…okay, honestly, I didn't want to talk to you."

"Thanks. But, I'm sorry Clare. I divorced you because all of this has happened so fast, I was scared. Scared that since our lives got a jump start, we'd get a quick end too. It was stupid of me. Clare, I didn't know what I was doing. Is there any way you could forgive me?"

"Drew," Clare walks towards him, but stops herself a few feet in front of him, "I've had months to think about this. Months. And, trust me I've thought of anything but. I even tried to date…"

"You dated?"

"Just Eli."

"Your ex, Clare…"

She cuts him off, "Drew, it was a moment of weakness. You left me without a care in the world."

"Clare, I admit I was stupid. Please, forgive me."

"Like I said, I've had time to think…and I have thought of anything but."

"What does that mean?"

"Drew, in all honesty, I don't know. Okay? I don't know what to think. We'll have to see."

"Does that mean?" he walks closer to her and almost closes the distance, but she puts her hands on his shoulders. Both of them feel a familiar spark jolt through their veins.

"It means, we may not have another chance, but we can try to be friends and see how that goes. I mean, isn't that best for the kids?"

He sighs, "I guess. Thanks Clare," he backs out of the house before either of them can say another word. She waves as he leaves. As he gets into his car he nods to her.

The beginnings are always sweet.

* * *

On April 1st Drew and Clare, once again, begin to make a cake for James and Camille, who today turn one. They turn to each other and Drew bursts out in laughter.

"What's so funny?" Clare asks, her hands firmly on her hips.

"No—nothing. You have a little," he points to his own nose and she covers hers.

"That isn't funny!" she exclaims wiping off the chocolate icing.

"I thought so." he smirks.

"Really? Well, what about this?" she drops her finger into the icing, and then wipes it on his nose. "Now, that's funny."

"Oh, is it now?" he takes his own hand and then wipes some icing on her cheek.

"Drew!" she exclaims.

"Clare!" he mimics.

"You want to play it that way, do you?" she smirks.

"Uh…I'm just going to back away now…" and he starts to, but then she grabs a cookie that she made earlier and chucks it at the back of his head. He swerves on his heels and walks back to her. She puts on an innocent façade and he smirks while grabbing a handful of icing.

"You wouldn't."

Then, he takes his hand and rubs it across her forehead and down to her lips, where he linger for a moment before pulling apart. "I should go get cleaned up." and he back away.

"Wait, Drew."

He turns back to her, "Yeah."

She walks over to him, their chests nearly touching, "About three months ago we talked about forgiveness and second chances."

He nods.

"I, I think…that if we both worked on this then maybe…"

He puts his hand under her chin and pulls her lips to his in a gentle embrace.

When they break apart, "You need to learn to get to the point quicker."

She ignores his comment and walks to the bathroom. He follows behind her.

"You know, most people talk, not walk away."

She smirks, "I would really enjoy getting this icing off of my face." she wipes it off of her forehead and nose before Drew comes over to her, takes the towel out of her hands, and gently wipes off the rest. "Thanks."

"Anytime."

"You have some right…" she kisses his cheek. "there."

"Is it gone?"

"Yeah."

**Author's Note: Well? Is it cute? Horrible? Next year is year 5...enjoy!**

**xoxoxo Cat**


	5. L age 6, C and J age 2: Summer

_**Author's Note: Helllooooooo! Miss me?**_

_**Disclamer: I do not own Degrassi or it's characters…or Disney rides! I do own Lena, James, and Camille**_

**Chapter 5: When the Time Comes, Be Ready**

"I hate this!" Lena exclaims.

"Hate what?" Drew leans on the door and stares at his daughter as she tosses her pencil across the room. She turns to him and smiles.

"Math."

"Been there." he smiles and comes into the room.

"Why did I have to be put up a grade? I am not that smart!"

He turns her so that she is facing him. "You are smart. Very smart. Like your mom."

"I am not that smart Drew." Clare walks into the room and sits down on her daughters bed next to Drew.

"Says the Gifted student."

"Oh…really? Thanks Drew…bring back the worst High School memories such as Bot Wars and KC…"

"Don't forget I think you wore a Catholic School uniform the entire first half of grade nine."

She gasps, "Who told you?"

He smirks, "I guess I forgot to mention you talk in your sleep."

"Hello! I am in the room!" Lena shouts. They turn to face her apologetically smiling, "So which one of you can help me with math."

"Your dad will. I think second grade was the last math class he got a good grade in. Without any help." Clare kisses Lena's head and then walks out of the room.

"Not funny Clare."

She pokes her head back into the room, "What? It was first grade?"

"Oh…thank you Clare."

"Don't mention it." she walks away.

"Clare…"

"Dad, math!"

Drew takes Lena and her books and sits her on his lap as he begins to help her.

Clare walks into James' room and picks him up in her arms.

"Mommy." he smiles.

"Hey baby." she kisses his forehead.

"Uncle Adam." He reaches for Adam who just walked into the room.

Clare turns to him and smiles, "Hey Adam."

"I was just getting the last of my things. I'm moving into Drew's old apartment, seeing as how…you-know."

"No…I don't know."

"I should get going…" he kisses James' forehead and ruffles his mass of dark brown hair before backing out of the room. Clare puts James down on to the floor and then follows Adam downstairs.

"What don't I know Adam." she asks.

Adam shrugs, "You know Drew moving in here and all."

"Adam…Drew has been here for over a year. It's May."

"Oh…right."

"What's going on Adam? Tell me. Please." she walks over to him.

He backs up, "It really isn't my place Clare."

"Adam…come on. We both know you can't keep a secret." she smiles.

"I can try." he replies.

"Adam." she covers her face and begins to fake cry.

"Clare…fake crying doesn't work."

"I…I am not faking." she chokes out.

"Oh…Clare." he drapes and arm around her around her. "Drew's…um…planning on proposing."

"Adam! I thought you were sworn to secrecy!" Drew shouts from the top of the stairs.

"She…was…"

Clare uncovers her eyes and smirks. "Fooled ya!"

"She was…what now?" Drew asks.

"I…I should get going." Adam runs out of the house.

Clare turns to see Drew behind her, "So…do you have a question or…something for me?"

He shakes his head, "Not one I can think of. No."

"Come on. Adam let it spill. You know that I know."

"Clare…I will do this how I want to do this."

"As long as it isn't a repeat of last time."

"Hey…that was cool."

"Drew, that was how you got me to be your girlfriend…I do not want it to be for your wife…the second time."

He kisses her, "Then I guess I have to come up with something better."

"Preferably not you singing."

"I am a great singer."

She smiles and walks up the stairs.

"I am a great singer Clare." Drew follows her.

She shrugs. "That's what you think."

* * *

"Drew…where are we going?" Clare asks. He smiles and leads her to the park.

"We're here." he says.

"At the park!" she asks.

"Who doesn't love swings?" he replies.

"I'm sorry, but I haven't been out in almost an entire year, and you take me to a freaking park?"

"I thought you loved the park."

"Oh, I do." she smiles and walks over to the slides. Drew follows her and smiles.

"So, plans for this summer?" he asks.

"Well, we're going to Disney with the kids."

"Disney."

"What is wrong with Disney?"

"Nothing. I haven't been there ever though."

"You have never been to Disney!"

"Is that so hard to believe?"

"Well, yeah, kinda." she replies. "Let's go on the swings!" she runs over to the swings and stares at them. Drew comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist.

"Well?" he asks.

"Is this…what I think it is?"

"Why don't you open it and see?"

She takes the small blue box off of the swing and then opens it. Inside is a small circular diamond on a silver ring. She smiles and turns to Drew who is down on one knee.

"Clare Diane Edwards…will you marry me? Again?"

She smiles, "Yes. I would love to marry you…again."

He stands up and kisses her.

* * *

"Oh! Dumbo!" Lena runs to the ride.

"Lenny, can I come on with you?" James asks. Lena runs back to where her family stands and smiles. She takes his hand and her sister's hand and then walks them to the front of the line.

"Be careful." Clare calls as she sees them going on to the ride.

"You're such a worry wort." Drew replies, putting his arms around her back.

"Sorry if I care about the safety of my babies. I mean, look how small they are."

On the ride Lena, James, and Camille are smiling and laughing.

"Oh yeah, they are babies." he laughs. She turns around and looks Drew square in the eye. "What?"

"Really Drew? They will always be my babies." she replies.

"Clare!"

Clare turns around and sees Alli running towards her.

"Alli what are you doing here?" she hugs her best friend.

"I'm here for…" she pauses when she sees Drew's face, "the Disney experience. I brought all of our friends with me for a week break. You know it's my senior year at TU."

"Who'd you bring?"

"KC, Jenna, and Mena. Dave. Eli and Lucy. Darcy, Peter, and Chloe. Declan, Fiona, Adam, Holly J, and Sandy. You know…the usual. Oh, I almost forgot Darcy brought Spinner, Emma, Jay, and Manny."

Clare turns to her, "The usual? Alli, that's like half of Degrassi!"

"Sue me." she smiles.

"We have to hang out. All of us."

"We will. How about tomorrow night?" Drew replies wrapping his arms around Clare.

"Sure. Well, I have to go. See you!" Alli waves and then runs over to the food court area where Dave stands.

"Mommy! Mommy! Can we go see the Monsters Inc. show!" Lenny runs over jumping with happiness. James and Camille nodding beside her.

"Let's go." she picks up James and they walk to the show.

* * *

"Drew, don't we have to meet them at the Polynesian resort in like…ten minutes?" Clare asks from the bathroom.

No response.

"Drew!" she opens the door and finds Fiona and Alli standing there. "Hey guys. I thought we were meeting you for dinner. Where's Drew?"

"He went to hang out with Adam for a bit. We're here to help you get ready." Fiona hands Clare a dress bag.

"I brought a dress with me." Clare replies holding the bag out for Fiona to take back.

"This one will look better on you. It's brand new. Trust me." (**AN: Sorry. Just letting y'all know the dress and ring are on my page! Check 'em out)**

"I don't need the dress."

"Put on the damn dress Clare!" Alli shouts.

"Sheesh." Clare unzips the dress bag and finds a short white dress. "Wow…that's so pretty."

"Told ya. Now put it on!" Fiona replies.

Clare shoos them out of the bathroom and then she changes.

When she opens the door they usher her out of the room and into a car.

"What are you doing?"

"We're taking you to dinner."

"Uh…"

"Just go with it Clare." Fiona smiles.

"Uh…okay."

When they get to the resort they take Clare out of the car and then drop her off my the front of the hotel, claiming they needed to go change.

"Baby Edwards."

"Spinner!" Clare turns around and hugs Spinner.

"What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be inside?" he asks.

She shrugs, "Well, Alli and Fiona just dropped me off out here."

"Come on in." he takes her arm and walks her into the building.

"How are you?" Clare asks.

"I'm good. You?"

"Great."

"Three kids?"

"Yeah. Uh, Lena she's six. James and Camille are two."

"Busy busy girl." Spin smirks.

"Ouch Spin."

The doors in front of them open and the wedding march begins to play. Clare looks around and tears well up in her eyes.

"What is this?" she whispers to Spin as he walks her down the aisle.

"Your second wedding."

"What?"

"Drew planned it with Alli's help." he replies.

"And you're walking me down the aisle?"

"What, you don't like me?" he replies.

"No. I love you Spin."

"Good." he replies. They get to the end of the aisle and he kisses her cheek before he puts her hand into Drew's.

"You did all this?" Clare asks.

"Anything for you Clare." he replies.

_**Author's Note: I promise to get updates for this out faster…okay!**_

_**On ONE condition: If at least three of you read my story "What Do I Do?" and review it!**_

_**is that so hard to ask?**_

_**PLEASE! **_

_**REVIEW**_

_**xoxoxo Cat**_


	6. L age 7, C and J age 3: Illnesses

_**Author's Note: Hey there guys! I hope you enjoy this new chapter!**_

_**Disclamer: I don't own Degrassi!**_

**Chapter 6: The Panda Bear Days**

Camille runs into her mom and dad's room and tugs on her moms arm.

"What is it Cam?" Clare yawns.

"I…don't…" she vomits on the floor.

"Oh…Drew…wake up." Clare shakes Drew awake.

"What? What is it! Where's the fire?" he shoots up, his eyes closed.

"Hon, I need you to clean up the floor. Cam just threw up."

"Why can't you clean it up?"

She sighs, "Drew, I am going to make sure next time she can vomit in the toilet."

"Fine." he replies getting out of bed. Clare grabs Camille in her arms and carries her into the small bathroom that's in between James' and her room.

"Mommy, my head hurts." Camille says.

Clare kisses her forehead, "You don't seem hot baby."

"What did you say?"

"Cam, can you hear me?"

Cam nods, "Yeah, you're just whispering."

Clare shakes her head, "Cam, sweetie, do I still sound like I'm whispering?"

Cam nods, "What's going on?"

"Stay in here…I'll be right back." Clare walks out of the room and grabs the phone.

"Mommy, who are you calling?" Cam walks over to Clare, her legs wobbling. Clare bends down and picks up Cam, letting her child's head rest on her shoulder. She then walks into Cam's room and sits down on her bed. Cam crawls out of Clare's grasp and grabs her panda stuffed animal and hugs it close to her. Clare sighs and waits for the person to pick up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Darce." Clare breathes out, clear stress in her voice.

"Clare, what is it?"

"Cam's sick. Could you come over and watch James and Lena while Drew and I take her to the doctor's office?"

"Sure…sure. I'll be there in a few minutes."

The phone beeps and then Clare turns to Cam.

"We're going to see Doctor Andrews."

Cam lets tears fall from her eyes, "What's going on mommy?"

Clare wraps her arms around Cam and kisses her temple, "Nothing we can't fix baby."

"Clare…" Drew comes into the doorway and sighs.

"We're gonna go to the Doctor's. Darce is coming to babysit. We should tell Lena and James that. Here, help Cam get dressed. I'll go and tell Lena." Clare kisses Cam on the forehead once more before walking across the hall to Lena's room. "Lenny, wake up."

"What?"

"Daddy and I are taking Cam to the doctors. Aunt Darcy is coming to watch you and James…be on your best behavior."

"Wait…"

Clare turns to see her daughter's face, full of questions, "Yes Lenny?"

"Why are you going to the doctor's? Is Cam okay!"

Clare walks over to her daughter and sits down on the bed, "She's fine kid. She's fine. Just a check up, kid. Nothing serious."

"Oh…okay." Lena replies.

"Be good for your Aunt Darcy. Watch your brother."

Lena nods and watches as her mom walks out of the room.

* * *

Drew sighs as he drives to the doctor's office. It's noon, and a Thursday during a week's recess from Lenny's school. It's March. There are flowers popping up in places while snow covers other places. Clare leans her head on the car window trying to focus on anything but the current situation she is in right now. Cam in the back holds onto her panda smiling as she watches the movie "Despicable Me". Clare turns to Drew and he offers her his hand, which she takes gladly feeling like she could use the extra support.

When they get to the doctor's office it's nearly empty, but that doesn't stop them from having to wait a whole hour before they actually get into the office.

"Clare, Drew." Dr. Andrews smiles and nods to them. They smile back. Dr. Andrews takes his seat and rolls over to Camille. "Hello Camille."

"Hi." she hides her face behind her panda.

Clare bends down to her daughter's height. "Cam, you need to move the panda from your face baby."

Cam smiles and puts the panda into her lap before turning to the doctor.

"Okay, well, we ran some tests from the blood that Nurse Daniele took."

"And?" Clare asks.

"Well…" he nods for them to walk outside of the room with him. "I think you should go check her out at thew pediatric wing at the hospital. Tell Dr. Mitch Carter that I sent you and you should get in right away." he hands them a slip of paper with scribbled writing.

"Dr. Andrew's what does this mean?" Drew asks.

"I would seriously get her checked out at the hospital."

Clare turns and goes back in to get Camille. She picks her up in her arms and hugs her tightly. Then she walks back out to Dr. Andrews and Drew.

"We'll go now, right Clare?" Drew asks. Clare nods and they say goodbye as they walk back out to the car. Clare buckles Camille in and then goes to the front seat. Again, the car ride is silent, Clare not trusting herself to speak, Drew not wanting to speak, and Camille watching Aladdin.

* * *

When they get to the hospital it's nearly four o'clock. They take Camille inside and find their way to the children's wing.

"How can I help you?"

"Hi, I'm Clare Torres, this is Drew Torres, and Camille Torres. Dr. Andrews sent us here for Dr. Mitch Carter." Clare replies.

"I'll go get him." the nurse gets up and walks to the doors. Clare turns to Drew and sighs. He shakes his head and musters a small smile. Moments later a man with salt and pepper hair comes out the doors and smiles to them.

"I'm Dr. Carter. This must be Camille." he smiles.

"Hi." Camille smiles and then buries her head into her mother's shoulder.

"Hi Dr. Carter." Clare smiles and shakes his hand.

"Dr. Andrews called me already, we have the MRI ready for her."

Clare and Drew look at each other.

"He didn't tell you, did he?"

"Tell…tell us what?"

"Why don't you just come with me." Dr. Carter leads the way to the MRI lab. They situate Camille in the bed and tell her not to move. Another Doctor hooks her up to an IV, and three doctors, including Mitch, stand around computers in the room across from the room with Camille. Drew and Clare stand in the corner silently, they hold hands and watch as the doctors survey what comes up on the screen.

"How…" a doctor who is obviously first-year med student starts to say.

"How what?" Clare asks, her voice troubled and tough to get out clearly.

Dr. Carter turns to them and the other people in the room leave. "Take a look at this. This is a picture of Camille's brain. See that right there, that big lump there. That's her tumor. I'm afraid this is more serious that Dr. Andrews led on."

Clare spins around to face the doctor, "What? What do you mean more serious!"

"Well, Dr. Andrews said that there might be a small tumor due to the discrepancies in her blood test and the hearing and sight tests that his nurse had done earlier this morning. Well, I am afraid he was wrong. This tumor is not small. This tumor however is also not as big as it could get."

"It…could…get…bigger?" Clare asks. Drew looks at his daughter through the glass as she lies quietly in the bed.

"Yes."

"What can we do?"

"Well, judging from the size she's had it for roughly five months."

"Five months?" Clare repeats.

"If we don't operate soon, then…"

"Then what?" Clare stares at the doctor through blurry tear-filled eyes.

"Things could get worse."

"How…how worse?" Drew asks, his voice small and unrecognizable.

"It's hard to tell, but she could get very sick…and eventually…"

"die." Clare finishes. "She could die, right?"

The doctor nods, "We need to get you to sign some papers and we could possibly get her into surgery tomorrow. the latest being three or four days from now."

He leads Clare and Drew out of the room and into a hospital room where Camille sits down on the bed, in her gown, clutching onto her panda. He hands then the paperwork and then leaves the room.

"Hey Cam, how you feeling?" Clare asks as she sits down on the bed, wraping her arms around Camille.

"Tired." Camille says as she closes her eyes.

"Sleep tight baby girl." Clare kisses her head and then walks over to the small table where Drew sits.

"She's going to be fine." Drew takes Clare's hand in her own and reassures her.

"I…I'm not so sure Drew. Five months? She's had this for five months and we didn't know? This is…"

"Terrible, I know. But, we caught it Clare. The doctors can operate and everything will be fine. She'll come home safe and…" he's cut off when a beeping noise comes from the machines and a nurse runs in. Clare and Drew turn around and see their daughter seizing. Clare breaks down in sobs and Drew holds her.

* * *

"Okay, so Camille's tumor caused some minor bleeding in her brain. We stopped the bleeding, but unfortunately during this surgery we were unable, due to the amount of blood, to get a good look at the tumor. So, it is still in her. we think that if we get her into surgery in anymore than a week from now her risk of dying goes up, so the faster the surgery is scheduled, the better. We'd prefer to get her in for surgery within the next two days. She'll also have to stay in the hospital overnight tonight, and after the surgery she will need to stay here for a couple days of observation…that is depending on how much of the tumor—if not all—we were able to remove."

"Oh…" Clare says, "well, I'm sure if she's staying overnight tonight that you could get her into surgery tomorrow, right?"

"Well, theoretically…"

"No…I cannot take theoretically. Just schedule the damn surgery for tomorrow!" Clare hisses.

"Mrs. Torres."

"Doctor Carter!"

"Calm down."

"Calm down? You want me to calm down? You're the one telling me my kid is going to die in a week if she doesn't get this surgery…sorry if I don't want her to die."

"Mrs. Torres, we are going to try everything we can."

"Try! I do not want you to try Dr. Carter! I want you to do! I want you to be sure and succeed!"

"Mrs. Torres, we will. Now, seeing as how I am the professional and oyu are the patients mother I would prefer it if you quieted down."

Clare sighs and looks to Drew, "Why don't you go home? Take Darcy off of baby-sitting duty. It's been over twelve hours. I'll stay here overnight."

He sighs and kisses her cheek, "Call me if anything changes."

"I will."

* * *

When Drew gets home Alli's on the couch in the living room.

"Alli?" Drew asks.

She turns the TV off and then stands up, "Hey Drew. Darcy had to go home, I think Chloe's sick. Where are Clare and Camille?"

Drew gulps in some air, "They're still at the hospital."

"They're what!"

"Keep your voice down."

"They're where?"

"In the hospital Alli. Camille has a brain tumor. It's a big deal and we don't want the kids or anyone else to know, in fact I probably shouldn't have told you."

"Drew, is this true? They're in the hospital?"

Drew nods, "Yeah."

"Oh…God…"

"Go on home Alli. Thanks for watching the kids for us."

"Drew…"

Drew turns around to see Alli holding onto her smile, "Everything will work out."

"Thanks Alli. Thanks."

"See you tomorrow Drew."

"Wait, tomorrow?"

"Well, someone's got to watch these kids."

"Thanks Alli."

"Anytime Drew."

* * *

Two weeks later Camille finally had her surgery. She survived and sits in the hospital bed while her doctor talks to her parents.

"Okay, we managed to get all of the tumor out. But…"

"A but…what is it this time?" Clare asks.

"Due to the size of the tumor, and her age, there is a high chance of a reoccurrence. However, we don't think that that will happen. If in the first four months after the surgery she does not have one, then it probably will not happen again."

* * *

Four months later, they went for their final check up. The sun brightly shining around the white walls of the hospital.

"Congratulations. She's made it without any changes and she's gotten better. No new signs of a tumor or anything."

**Author's Note: Well, what did you think? If you have any ideas for future chapters...**

**xoxoxo Cat**


	7. L age 8, J and C age 4: read me

_**Author's Note: Hey there guys! Chapter 7…get ready for some drama…like the kind we know and love Degrassi for…but maybe a bit more that that…ENJOY!**_

_**I owe this chapter to **_Aviva Aria_** for all her help! (again) oh yeah…she also writes one of my FAVORITE stories called "Closest to Heaven"—check it out!**_

_**Disclamer: I do not own Degrassi…**_

**Chapter 7: I've Been Here For You—Clare's POV:**

I sit in the hospital waiting for Cam to be done with her one year check up. They told me it would be best to get her checked out once every year…at least. I clutch my purse next to me and tap my foot as I wait for the doctors to tell me what they need to.

"Mrs. Torres?"

I stand up and walk over to Dr. Carter and sigh when he leads me into the same viewing room. My heartbeat races and my breath catches in my throat. He leads me to the screen and points to it.

"This is the image we just took of her brain. See that right there; I'm sorry to say the tumor is bigger than last time."

"How…how come we didn't find it sooner?"

"Sometimes the signs don't show up right away." he replies.

"How soon can we get her into surgery?"

"At the most three days from now…the least would be tomorrow."

"She has to stay again tonight?"

He nods. "I'm sorry."

I back up, "I'll be back later."

I walk out of the hospital and get into my car, I dial the first number I think of.

"Hello?"

"Hey, can I come over?" I ask.

"Clare. Yeah, come on over."

"Thanks Eli…I'll be right there."

I turn the car on and drive to the apartment complex.

* * *

I walk up to his apartment and he opens the door.

"Hey Clare." he moves and allows me access to the room. I walk in a drop my bag on the floor. I go to the fridge and pull out a beer. I turn to him and hold it up. He nods allowing me to have one and holds out his hand for me to pass him one. I take a swig of the beer and sit down on the couch next to him. "So, why are you here?"

"I…Cam's sick again."

"Again? With what?"

"She's…she's got another brain tumor Eli. I…I don't know what to do anymore. Eli, I'm scared another of my kids will get sick. I…I'm so scared."

He puts his arm around me and rubs circles on my back, "It's okay to be scared Clare."

"No it isn't Eli. I'm their mom! I shouldn't be scared…not now. Not with one of my kids sick! I need to be strong for them! I can't be crying and worrying this much Eli…I need to be there for James…and Lena…and Drew…and…especially Cam. God! How can I be strong for her Eli, I am…so terrified that she's going to get worse, that she…won't make it…"

He hugs me as I sob into his shoulder, "Clare, it'll all be fine. Don't worry about it, okay? Cam will get better. All you need to worry about is yourself. All you really need to do for your family is be there for them."

I look up to him, and maybe it's all this emotion, or maybe the three beers I had kicking in, but I pressed my lips to him. And, within seconds he kissed me back with more passion.

* * *

The next thing I know the sun is beating through the blinds of the room, and I am lying down on a bed next to Eli. I sit up, and turn. I cover my face and stand up. I grab my clothes and quickly put them on.

"Clare…" Eli sits up.

"I…I have to go."

"I'll call you later."

I look at him, "Don't Eli. Don't call me, or…or anything. Goodbye Eli." I walk out of the bedroom, grab my purse and then run out to the car. I turn on my cell phone and notice ten missed phone calls from Drew. I call him.

"Clare…where have you been?"

"Sorry Drew. I had my cell phone off. I stayed at the hospital last night with Cam."

"Wait…she had to stay over?" he asks, his voice cracking.

"Yeah, her…her tumor's back Drew!"

"What?"

"Drew…I'm so scared. I'm so sorry I didn't call you yesterday." I reply as I start the car and begin to drive. "I'm coming home now."

"Oh, so I'll see you in a few minutes."

"Yeah. I love you Drew."

"Love you too Clare."

We hang up, and then I keep driving home.

* * *

Three days later Drew and I sit out in the lobby of the hospital and wait for any news of how the surgery is going.

"Mr. and Mrs. Torres."

We stand up.

"Well, the good news is we got all of the tumor out, the bad news…Cam had a brain hemorrhage caused by all the bleeding and pressure in her brain."

"Is she…okay?"

The doctor turns his gaze to the floor for a moment before looking back up at us, "I'm…"

Before he can finish I break into tears. Drew holds me up. He nods to the doctor and then the doctor walks away. Drew sits me down and I lean on his shoulder.

"She's…"

"Shhh Clare." he kisses my temple.

"Drew, my baby is…gone."

* * *

Two months later, after everything that happened Drew and I sit down to talk. Recently both of us have been distant, not really being able to talk after all that happened.

"What do you want to talk about Clare?" he asks.

"I…uh, Drew, what's going on between us?"

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since…you-know…we haven't talked like we used to."

"Things are different Clare, really different."

"Really? so what's changed Drew, do tell me, what's changed!"

"Everything has Clare! Don't you see? We've changed Clare!"

"Don't pull that crap about us changing Drew, do not say we've changed! Of course we've changed Drew, Camille died! Cam died, James has stopped talking, and Lena is fucking depressed!"

"She's what?"

"Lena is depressed Drew! She doesn't talk to anyone anymore! Don't you see how this is tearing us apart Drew? This is stupid! We need to move on…"

He cuts me off, "Move on? Move on? How can you expect me to move on Clare? My daughter died! She died. How do you expect me to fucking move on from that?"

"I…I don't know Drew. It's going to be hard, nothing will be harder than this, but for the sake of this family…"

He cuts me off, "What family Clare? How can you call this a fucking family? We lost a kid."

"And unless you want to lose another I think we need to get our acts together Drew!"

"Clare…"

I cut him off, "Don't you get it Drew, we lost a kid. Okay? We lost one of our kids. It's tough, but for the sake of Lena…and, and James don't you think we should at least try to move on, no matter how hard it is going to be?"

"Well…"

"…and don't you think maybe we need to get our acts together? Drew we haven't talked…I mean really talked since before Cam died. Drew, we need to start doing stuff for this family, not just for ourselves."

He sighs, "I know you're right Clare, you are. But, it's hard to think…it's hard to walk past her room without thinking that she's gone."

"I know Drew. Don't you think I know how you feel? She was my baby too, Drew, it's not like this death hasn't affected me in ways I don't want to think about. Every time I walk past her room I think that she's alive Drew. I dream about her every night, every damn night, and I hate it Drew. I hate feeling this way! I hate the feeling that I could have stopped it…that I did something wrong. That this happened because of me, because of us and our parenting skills, or in this case, lack thereof. I hate feeling like that Drew, and I know that we probably couldn't have prevented the brain tumor and…trust me, I know we couldn't have stopped her death even if we were the best surgeons in the world."

"Clare…I think those same things every minute…but I know we couldn't have stopped it…even if we tried. And, I know this has been tough on everyone and that it isn't just me, but…Clare, asking me to just move on…I don't see how you could think that way. How…how that thought could cross your mind. Cam was our kid, she was our baby, and she died…"

I cut him off, "Okay, I see your point. I…I can't be here…I need some air, I…I…need to get out of her e for a while Drew, okay?"

He stands up to stop me, but then sits back down putting his head into his hands. I grab my coat and walk out of the house.

* * *

"Clare?"

"Can I…?" I ask motioning to enter the house.

"I thought that…"

"Please…just let me in Eli. Please…" I plead. He sighs and back away from the door. I go and sit down on the couch, my head in my hands. Something cold brushes up against my hand, and when I look up Eli is holding out a cold beer for me. I take it and drink it. He smirks and sits down next to me.

"Don't get any funny ideas again Clare." he smirks.

I laugh, "Shut up Elijah."

He cringes at his full name, "Really? You're using my full name against me?"

I turn to him and smirk, "Why else?"

"Very funny Clare."

We sit there, for the rest of the afternoon drinking beer and reminiscing about high school—but we avoid the elephant in the room our tryst two months ago. By the time we've both had about five beers Eli turns to me, a glazed yet serious look in his eyes.

"So why are you here?"

I hiccup, "What do you mean? I'm visiting an old friend? Is..is that not allowed?"

He smirks, "It is allowed, Clare. But I know you better than that dead-beat husband of yours."

"Drew is not a dead-beat!"

"My point is…I know that just "visiting" isn't your reason for coming here. So spill Edwards, why'd you come?"

I roll my eyes.

"I'm not giving up until I get it out of you Clare. If so inclined I have ways of forcing it out of you."

"And what, pray tell, are said ways of forcing it out of me?" I hiccup again—for some reason most, if not all, times I have drank I hiccup.

"Tickling…" to demonstrate he puts down his beer bottle and tickles me.

"Get off of me…" I say in-between laughing.

"Not until…"

"Fine! I'll tell you!" I shout. He smiles and sit back up straight, allowing me to do the same.

"I'm waiting." he smirks.

"Are you now?"

He laughs and sticks his tongue out at me, and I do the same.

"Okay…what do you want to know?"

"I would love to know the reason that why, after two months and no contact, you've come back."

I sigh, "Look Eli, a few days after we…well, you know…"

"Had sex." he buts in.

"Yeah, after we did that…Cam had the surgery to get the brain tumor out."

"Oh…"

"Yeah, oh…and well, they got the tumor out, but then…then apparently she had a really bad brain hemorrhage and it…caused her to die…"

"Clare…I…"

I put my hand up for him to stop talking, "And…and Drew and I…well, we haven't really talked in…forever, and…and with the constant psychiatrist visits I've scheduled for Lena, and the ones for James…and for myself I…I just…I don't know how I can handle this…it's so hard because every time I close my eyes I see her, I see her and I think she's really here Eli…it's so hard to be in this position and I feel like I have no one who can help me get through this…Drew, Drew's pushing me away. I…I have no one…"

"You have me Clare…you'll always have me."

"No…no I don't Eli. We aren't together. We aren't friends. We're exes… We slept together two months ago and…that's it Eli. We're nothing more than old friends."

"That's a lie and you know it, Clare. You know it, and I know it."

"No it…isn't a lie Eli."

"Yes it is."

"Why Eli!"

He cups my face with his hands and kisses me, "Because I love you."

"You…"

"I love you Clare, I always have and I think I always will. I love you."

"I…I…have to go." I stand up from the couch, my legs wobbling and my head spinning. Eli pulls me back and I sit down on the couch. "Let go…"

"Clare, you can't drive like this…"

"I…can too drive Eli." I stand up, but then I fall back down, Eli catches me in his arms.

"Clare, just…stay the night. Sleep on the couch."

"Eli…I…"

"Clare, I am not letting you drive like this."

"Eli…I am not drunk, and I can't stay here when you just said what you said."

"Well, I'm not taking it back," he replies.

"Look, Eli…I can't be here…this is too weird." I stand up, and walk to the door.

His voice stops me, "Why?" I turn around and cross my arms. "Why is it so weird Clare?"

"You know why Eli…I'm married…I…I shouldn't…"

"Shouldn't what? Do you have feelings for me Clare?"

"I…"

"You…what, Clare. Tell me the truth, do you, or do you not?"

"What do you want me to say Eli! That I'm not over you? That you broke my heart; twice. I…I can't forgive you a third time Eli. You had a shot…you had two of them and you broke my heart…twice. I'm with Drew…I have a husband who cares and who loves me…does that mean anything to you?"

He steps closer to me, "Not in the least." he crashes his lips onto mine. I smack him and fumble for the door. "Clare." he pulls me back.

"Let go Eli."

"No Clare, you just told me you have feelings for me. I can't let you go…not now!" he kisses me again.

"Let go!" I scream.

"Clare, calm down."

"I am calm Eli, I just don't want this…"

"You still love me Clare, you do…we both know it."

"No I never said that Eli. I said I wasn't over you! Now, let go of me. I need to get out of here…"

"No Clare, I don't want you to go, we could be together again, don't you see?"

"Let go of me!" I scream, trying to wiggle out of his grasp on my arm. His grasp just tightens and he moves closer to me, his lips crashing in on mine again. "Eli…" I whisper feebly before I surrender to the kiss.

* * *

"Fuck…" I mumble to myself when I wake up in the morning with another headache and in the bed of a man whom I loved twice before.

"Morning sleepy head." Eli walks into the room, wearing only plaid pajama pants and his signature smirk.

"Fuck!" I shout louder getting out of the bed and tumbling to the floor. I gather my clothes and begin to put them back on.

"Where are you going?" Eli asks.

"This was the second biggest mistake I have ever made in my life. I cannot believe I did that…again!"

"Wait…" Eli runs to the door after me. I stop and wait to see what he has to say. "What was the biggest mistake?"

"Meeting you!" I scream before grabbing my purse and running out of the apartment. My phone rings, Eli. I take his number out of my phone, and set it so if her ever calls again, it will get blocked. I wipe away my tears and get into my car. I call Darcy and ask her to meet me at the Dot. She agrees saying she's already there. I drive to the Dot, when I get there Darcy stands up and ushers me to the back booth.

"Hey Clare, what's wrong?" she asks.

I look at her, "Everything…ever since Cam died…I just…it's been…"

"It's been hard on you, I know hon."

"Darce I am a horrible person."

"Why?"

"When…when Cam got the second tumor I went over to…Eli's."

"You did what!" she shrieks. I motion for her to keep her yap shut. She whispers, "You did what now?"

"I…went over to Eli's, for some sign of comfort….and…"

"You slept with him?"

I nod.

"Fuck Clare, when was this?"

"Two months ago, back in April…"

"Well…have you told Drew?"

"No…do you know how fucked up my family is right now Darce? Do you, with Cam dead and both my kids in therapy…goddamnit! I'm a slut…I am a cheater and a fucking slut!"

"Clare…it was one time…it was just the once, right?"

I look down at my hands.

"When?"

"Last night…"

She stares at me and rolls her eyes.

"Darce…I am stupid…okay?"

"I just…don't see why you would even think about doing something like that Clare."

I glare at her, "I may have had a few beers…"

"Did you check anything out? did you use protection both times?"

I shrug.

"What?"

"Darce…to be honest…I don't remember."

"Oh my God…it's been two months, it is now June…and you don't know! Don't know which one?"

"The latter…I know I haven't checked. Darce, I don't think Eli would not use protection."

"Do you know for sure Clare!"

I roll my eyes.

"In two weeks we are going for a pregnancy test."

"Why two weeks from now?"

"What if you get pregnant from this time? Not the last time though?"

"No offense Darce, I think I'd know if I was pregnant."

"Are you sure Clare?"

"One hundred percent sure Darce…"

* * *

"Clare."

"I know…it's been three minutes Darce…I am not stupid. Is it weird that I'm scared even though I don't think I am?"

"Clare…especially since it might be Eli's…"

"Oh, Drew and I haven't slept together since like three months before we found out Cam had that second tumor…"

Darce puts up her hands and makes a fake gagging noise, "Ew! Too much info." she turns to look at the test.

"Well?"

"Uh…"

I grab the test and look at it, "Fuck!"

"We should go see when…"

"Darce…" I break down into tears. She hugs me.

"It'll be okay Clare. It will. Don't worry, I'm sure Drew will forgive you."

"Darce! I'm pregnant with someone else's baby? You think he'll ever forgive me?"

**

* * *

**

Drew's POV:

Clare hasn't been home in a week. I feel really bad. I feel like this is my fault. Like I caused her to leave. I see what she meant; Lena doesn't talk that much, and she's been wearing all black lately, and James…he's stopped talking all together. When the door opens and Clare walks in I run over to her and give her a hug.

"Drew…I have something to say." I let her go and she leads me to the couch. "I'm pregnant."

_**Author's Note: Well, what do you think? The next chapter will be in January of the following year—Clare will be 8 months pregnant…about to have ELI'S baby…**_

_**How will Drew react?**_

_**Love you!**_

_**twitter: catherine_cat33 **_

—_**hint hint…wink wink—**_

_**xoxoxo Cat**_


	8. L age 9, J age 5: Custody

_**Author's Note: Hey there guys! Chapter 8…Clare's new baby comes! enjoy my readers!**_

_**I forgot that I was keeping this story in third person in the last chapter…for that I am sorry!**_

_**Disclamer: I do not own Degrassi…**_

_Chapter 8: Accused_

She didn't allow Drew into the delivery room. How could she, it wasn't even his baby. Granted she hadn't yet told him, but if he had found out like this…it would not bode well, and she knows that. She could have decided to get an abortion, and…okay in this situation maybe it would have been for the best, but, her Christian upbringing aside, she just couldn't seem to let this baby die. And, she hadn't told Eli about his child because she didn't want it getting back to Drew…or, maybe it had been the fact that whenever she passed his apartment, trying to get up the courage to tell him, she noticed boxes up until there was nothing after all. Okay, so maybe if Clare really had wanted to find Eli, she probably could have…Adam was bound to know where Eli went, right? They were still good, if not best, friends.

The moment that Clare hears the baby let out a loud cry she looks up. _Fuck!_ The baby has a full head of black hair and vibrant green eyes. But, as she stares at the baby and takes him in her arms, she can't help but love the new baby boy.

"You slept with Eli?" Drew shouts when he walks into the room.

"What? Why do you say that?" she asks, slowly bringing the new baby closer to her.

"He just told me." Drew crosses his arms and moves out of the way as the door flies open. Eli walks in, his green eyes red with anger.

"Eli…why are you here?" she asks, the sleeping baby in her arms stirs as if he can detect the tension in the room.

"Well, Adam told me that you were pregnant." he stalks closer to Clare's hospital bed, his eyes glued on hers.

"Well, what does that matter to you?" she asks, her voice betraying her by cracking, her eyes fight to stay open and her mouth fights to stay shut.

"Unless this baby is a couple of months premature…"

Drew cuts Eli off, "Don't."

"Don't what?" Eli swerves so that he's now facing Drew.

"Don't say that about her Eli."

"Say what? What was I going to say Drew?"

"You were going to accuse."

Clare speaks up, not wanting a big fight to happen, "He's not accusing me of anything Drew."

They both turn to face her, "What?" they ask.

"Eli's right." she replies.

Drew's jaw drops, "What?"

"When…when we slept together…I…we…I don't really know, but I ended up pregnant. Drew, I am so sorry. I should have told you before this, I should have. I am so so sorry."

"Are you saying…" Drew starts.

"that that's my baby?" Eli finishes, no smirk or smile on his face.

Clare nods as silent tears fall down her face. She stands up, puts the baby into the crib, and walks over to Drew, who turns away from her. "Please Drew…look at me, please."

He turns to her, his gaze looking above her, "I…don't think I can."

She grabs his arm, "Drew, please."

"I…I…" he gently removes his arm from her grasp and walks to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I can't be here right now."

"Drew! It isn't like you haven't lied to me before…we can work this out…please!" she shrieks please as she sobs violently shaking as well.

"I…don't know if we can Clare." then he walks out of the room, as the sound of the closing door echoes through the small hospital room Clare falls to the floor. Eli walks over to her, his hand outstretched.

"I can help myself." she stands up and goes to her bed.

"I was only offering." he replies.

"Damn it Eli, because I slept with you my life is ruined. Now I have your fucking kid and Drew might leave me…again. God dammit!"

"Clare…stop this."

"Stop what Eli? Stop the fact Drew just walked out on me? I wish I could. Stop you from being here…tugging at my heart strings and physically making me sick because I don't know how I feel about you? I wish I could stop that too! But, no. No I can't stop it Eli. I can wish, I can wish like I have never wished before, but I cannot change this."

"Clare, stop focusing on the negative."

"Oh, okay…so simple. What's positive about this situation Elijah? Let me tell you…nothing! Nothing is positive about this situation Eli!"

"Clare…"

"Eli, I can't handle you right now. Leave me alone."

He sighs and walks to the door, before turning the knob he looks to her, "Reese."

"What?" she asks.

"I've always liked that name." he turns back around and then leaves the room.

* * *

When Clare got home from the hospital a day later she wasn't entirely surprised to find Drew's belongings gone and a note on the counter saying…

_I'm hurt, upset, pissed off, and confused. I don't know if we can work this out. I don't know what the future holds anymore. I'm mad at you, but I am more mad at myself for driving you to do what you did…for now I think we should stay apart. _

_Drew_

Okay, she should have been expecting something like that. What she hadn't anticipated was the hurt the letter had held. She could sit there and cry all night long, but she couldn't because the next minute the door opened and Lena, James, and Drew walked in.

"Bye Daddy," Lena kisses his cheek and hugs him tightly before she goes up the stairs.

"Bye Lenny." he smiles and then bends down to James' level.

"Where are you going Daddy?" he asks.

Clare leans in the doorway, "Dad's going on a business trip."

Drew stands up and looks down at James seeing the similarities between him and his son. "Yeah kid. I'll be gone for a while, don't get into too much trouble." he ruffles' James' hair and James laughs.

"I won't I promise."

"Why don't you go upstairs, let your mom and me talk."

"Bye Dad." he gives Drew one more hug before going up the stairs. Drew turns to Clare and she instinctively crosses her arms like she would during a fight.

"So, where are you staying?" she asks.

He sighs and rubs the back of his head, "Adam's."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Drew…I just wanted to say that…I'm sorry. I am. I didn't know what I was doing, and I regret every minute of it. I don't want you to just keep brushing me off, no. I want us to work on this, to work on us…don't you see Drew, I love you."

"Clare…as of now I don't know what to believe, you have to see that, don't you? I mean you lied to me about having an affair with Eli."

"Twice. I slept with him twice, that is not an affair Drew."

"It's cheating."

"And I haven't denied that fact Drew. I know what I did and I know I was wrong. But, I love you Drew…I do."

"I don't know how I feel about you anymore Clare. I think that we shouldn't talk or see each other for at least a month, then maybe we could have lunch or something, see how that goes."

"When did you get so mature?" she smiles.

He smiles back, "I guess you've rubbed off on me after eleven years."

"Eleven, we only dated a year before Lena was born."

"I liked you longer than that…back when you me and Adam started hanging out."

"I was still with…" she trails off.

"I know…" he replies standing up straighter. "I should get going…Bye Clare." he walks over to her and kisses her cheek before he walks out the door. Clare sighs and watches from the window as he drives off, taking her heart with him.

* * *

No matter how hard she'd tried in the past month and a half images of Drew still played in her mind, like a constant reminder of what she had lost due to her stupidity. No matter how hard she'd tried to get her mind off of him the simplest things brought back the powerful memories. And, looking at her new baby Reese, she sees that maybe this was how she had to get closure with Eli. It may sound insane, but it works. With this new baby came thoughts of Eli. But, the good thoughts were quickly outrun by the bad; when he ignored her those first few days after the video project, when he cheated on her with Lucy, when he didn't return her calls, when he had told her Drew was bad for her and that he still loved her only days after she and Drew had gotten married the first time, and only recently when they had had drunken sex twice resulting in the baby that caused Drew to leave her.

She and Eli have talked in the past month, trying to figure out the baby situation. She said it would depend on Drew and if he wanted Reese or not. So, they would have to wait for Drew to call Clare for lunch. But, her hopes that the lunch he had promised would happen, was just a lie because it has been nearly two months and he hasn't called. But, can she really blame him for not calling? No, she can't. She did wrong, and this was her punishment. It may be shitty and horrible, but it's what she deserves.

Listening to the laughter of James and Lena as they watch a movie in the other room brightens her mood, no one has really laughed in the past year. There hasn't been any reason too. Nothing will ever be the same. Pictures will be passed in the halls with sad glances. Laughter will stop short because of remembrance. Life may keep going, but the whole idea will stay back a year ago. When things were good. When Camille was still here. When Clare hadn't cheated.

They say that things happen for a reason. Well, what's the reason?

When the phone rings Clare jumps up and gets it, "Hello."

"Clare." the voice is soft and it sounds like the person on the line had just woken up.

"Drew." Clare replies not being able to stop herself from smiling.

"Yeah, I was wondering if we could do lunch today?"

Her heart stops, "Sure. I bet that Chloe could babysit for me. Where am I meeting you?"

"Actually, I was going to say why don't I pick you up, I mean the diner is passed the house anyway."

"Sure."

"I'll see you in a half hour?"

"Yeah. See you them Drew." she smiles into the phone and hangs up.

When she calls Darcy and Peter's house Chloe is the one to pick up the phone.

"Aunt Clare?" the twelve year old asks.

"Hey Clo…I was wondering if you could come over and babysit Lena, James, and Reese for me."

"Sure, I'll be right over."

Clare walks up the stairs, strips her clothes and hops into the shower. When she gets out she looks at herself in the mirror; her hair has grown and now falls just below her shoulder blades, her body has grown taller and thinner since she was in high school—though maybe part of the weight loss might have to do with the fact she just recently lost her daughter, had a son, and lost Drew.

Clare then walks out into her bedroom and rummages through her closet for a good outfit to wear today. She decides on a pair of skinny jeans and a dark violet sweater with a pair of small black heels. She grabs her purse and walks down the stairs. Chloe sits in the living room with Lena next to her and James on her lap.

"Chloe, when did…how did?" Clare asks.

"I know where you keep the spare key Aunt Clare." Chloe replies not looking up from the TV screen. When the doorbell rings Clare jumps.

"Clo, I'll see you later. Behave kids."

"Bye." the three of them say. She walks to the door and smiles when she sees Drew.

"Hey." she says closing the door behind her.

"Hey." he returns her smile and leads her to the car. They get in and drive the few blocks to the diner in silence. When they get out of the car they both look at the Dot. They go in and sit at the back booth.

"So," she starts.

"How are the kids?" he asks.

"Lenny's good. James misses you. Reese…" she trails off noticing Drew tense at the mention of Reese. "Oh…sorry."

He meets her gaze and smiles lightly, "No…no, it's okay."

"No it isn't Drew. This is uncomfortable for the both of us, don't deny it."

"I wasn't."

"So, how have you been?" she asks sliding back into her side of the booth.

"Fine, I've been working a lot. Spending time with Adam."

"Oh…"

"So, uh…"

She rolls her eyes and smiles, "No."

He looks up to her, confusion on his face, "No. What?"

"I haven't been seeing anyone."

"But…I didn't…"

"I know you Drew. I know you so well which is why it is so hard to see us like this." she replies.

"Clare…I…"

She cuts him off, "Look Drew, I get that you're mad at me. You have every right to be pissed off. I just…I hate being like this with you; watching everything I say, being closed and bottled up. I hate it! I really really do Drew."

"So do I Clare."

"You…you do?"

"I hate this…I love you Clare. And I hate being like this…"

"What?"

"Clare, I have hated every moment of the past two months without you. It made me sick. I hated being without you. I hated thinking you may have gone to be with Eli…"

She cuts him off, "I would never do that Drew. I made a bad choice and I hated doing that to you."

"Then why did you?"

"Cam had just died Drew, we weren't speaking, our kids were depressed! I was vulnerable. It didn't mean anything."

"Well, you had a kid."

"I know Drew. You don't have to keep reminding me."

"Clare…I'm not trying to make you feel bad…but it just…I don't…"

She reaches across the table and takes his hand in hers, "I already feel bad for lying to you about that Drew. You saying it just reminds me how much I hurt you by not saying anything."

"Clare…"

"Drew, if it means that much to you, I can give Eli custody of Reese. Full custody and I wouldn't see him. If you want me to do that, then I'm fine with it. Drew, I need you back in my life. I don't care about anything or anyone else. I need you."

He smiles and looks at her, "Clare, I need you too, but giving up Reese. You would never forgive me if I did that to you."

"You mean…"

He cuts her off, "Clare, you love Reese. As much as your willing to tell me you don't, you love that baby. And, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I was what made you give him up."

"But…Drew…you don't need that kind of reminder."

"But I do need you Clare, and if it comes with another kid, so be it. If it means I get to spend the rest of my life with you I don't care what else is there."

"Drew…"

He leans across the table and kisses her, "Shut up." he whispers before kissing her again.

* * *

Three months later Clare and Eli went to a small court getting everything squared out.

"So partial custody?" she asks him before they walk in.

"Yeah. Every other week."

"You stay in Toronto though, right?"

He nods and smirks, "Of course Clare."

_**Author's Note: Well, what do you think? Did I do a good job? Is it a failure? REVIEW**_

_**Love you!**_

_**xoxoxo Cat**_


	9. L age 10, J age 6, R 9months: Time

_**Author's Note: Hey there guys! Soo...FOLLOW Catherine and I on twitter...the link is on our page! We love followers! we only have 50...which is not a lot...follow us!**_

_**Disclamer: I do not own Degrassi...just Lena, Reese, and James (if you have any nicknames for James...review with them)**_

Chapter 9: Time

Lena walks into the seventh grade classroom, her books close to her chest—she was moved up another grade in both English and math—and finds a seat in the back of the classroom.

"Class settle down, we have a new student. Would you like to introduce yourself?" The teacher gestures to the front of the classroom and Lena stands up, smoothes out her violet dress, and makes her way to the front of the classroom. She straightens up her matching headband and then situates herself in the front of the classroom. "Well, tell us your name and something about yourself."

Lena takes in a deep breath—two years after the fact she still finds it hard to speak to people outside of her family, "I'm Lena Torres. I like to read, my favorite book I've read is…I'd say is a tie between Stendhal's _The Red and The Black_, or William Golding's _Lord of the Flies_."

The students look around to each other, none of them knowing what either of the books she just said. Then they start to giggle, causing Lena to blush and hurry back to her seat. When she gets to her seat she shrinks down and pulls her binder closer to her then doodles on a sheet of paper she has on the cover. She drowns out what the teacher says, until she hears…

"Partner up…your work will be due at the end of the class."

She looks up and notices everyone has already paired up. Premade partners because of friends. She sighs and opens up her binder to a new sheet of paper. The chair next to her moves and she jumps a little bit before turning around. The boy who sits next to her wears a pair of jeans and a Black Veil Brides tee-shirt. His hair is a chocolate brown and his eyes a deep set pair of onyx orbs. Lena brushes her bangs out of her eyes and she smiles.

"So, do you know what we're supposed to be doing?" he asks her.

She turns to him and smiles lightly, "No clue. I…sort of got lost in my imagination."

He smiles, "Me too." he replies, opening his binder and then looking up at her.

"Uh…what are you looking at?" she asks, turning down to her binder.

"Nothing. So…" he turns to the board, "we're working on…favorite poets…"

Lena smiles, "Okay."

"Who's yours?" he asks.

"Who's yours?" she replies.

"On three?"

"One…"

"Two…"

"Emily Dickenson." they both say.

"What?" she asks.

"You like her too?" he replies.

"Yeah…my mom, a few years ago back when I was six, she would read a poem a night to me and my siblings." she tries not to choke when she says siblings, but a tear still falls down her cheek.

Trying not to notice the tear the boy smiles, "So we need to recite our favorite poem. Which one is yours?"

"Uh…I'd say…

_My cocoon tightens, __colors tease, I 'm feeling for the air; A dim capacity for wings, Degrades the dress I wear. A power of butterfly must be, The aptitude to fly, Meadows of majesty concedes, And easy sweeps of sky. So I must baffle at the hint, And cipher at the sign, And make much blunder, if at last I take the clew divine.___

What about yours?"

"Mine's…

_If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain; If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin, Unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain. _

Like you my mom read me the poems." he smiles.

"So…do we choose just one?" she asks him to which he shrugs.

"Well, honestly…yours is a little depressing."

She sighs, "I know."

He rolls his eyes, "So, mine then?"

She nods sullenly. When the teacher finally gets the class to settle down she calls the groups up. When she gets to Lena's group both Lena and her partner walk to the front of the class.

"So, what poet did you choose?" the teacher asks.

"Well, we elected to choose Emily Dickenson." Lena responds trying to stand still.

"Why is that?" the teacher asks.

"Well, I think both of us can agree that her poetry..helped us become who we are…or decide who we want to become." her partner responds, shooting her a small smile to which she bows her head down to hide her pinkening cheeks.

"Which poem did you choose?"

He looks to Lena who nods him on saying he can say the poem. "We chose…

_My cocoon tightens, __colors tease, I 'm feeling for the air; A dim capacity for wings, Degrades the dress I wear. A power of butterfly must be, The aptitude to fly, Meadows of majesty concedes, And easy sweeps of sky. So I must baffle at the hint, And cipher at the sign, And make much blunder, if at last I take the clew divine._"

The teacher smiles, Lena stares at him agape, and the class claps. They walk back to their desks.

* * *

At the same time, in James' first grade classroom the class goes out for recess. He sits still, quiet, and buries his head in his arms on top of the wooden desk.

"You okay?" a voice asks. James' head shoots up and he smiles to the warm smile of his classmate, Micah.

James nods.

"You coming out to the playground? We're going to play some basketball."

James shrugs, "Nah…I don't think so."

Micah sighs at his friend, "Okay."

Finally alone again James closes his eyes. Even at six years old he knows that he should be outside. that life doesn't end the way one would hope. Things change at a moment's notice. That, even though you can try to stay in your norm, not everything will. Change happens. He stares down at his feet, the white converse covered in drawings that Lena, Camille, and him had done back right after Camille had gotten out of the hospital the first time. One the front part of the shoes, the little plastic parts that cover the toes, when both are put together they read "The sun will shine, but never as bright as you…Cami." It had been Lenny's idea to write something that had personified Camille, something sweet and simple. This little statement, written on a pair of shoes James was quickly outgrowing, _was_ Cami. It wasn't something to personify her. It _was_ her. And it would _always_ be her to them.

* * *

Clare rocks Reese to sleep in the rocking chair. It's the room next to hers and Drew's. She didn't think about touching Camille's room. She couldn't come to step foot in the room. Every time she passed she felt like she could hear Camille's laughter filling the room behind the closed door, or her pencils tapping the desk as she draws or writes. But, no, those sounds cease whenever Clare draws closer to the door. Once a week she finds herself not being able to sleep and then going into the bathroom, sitting on the floor hugging her legs to herself, and silently crying. Drew's even almost caught her twice. But, she's been able to get out of there, passing it off as bad cramps or a reaction to the book she's been reading. As she lowers Reese into the crib she gets the feeling again. The feeling that people usually get on roller coasters. The feeling that your stomach is flipping, your insides growing and shrinking, your heart falls, you get a lump in your throat. She carefully backs out of the room and goes into the bathroom. She sits with her head inbetween her legs and lets the tears fall.

"Clare." A knock comes from the door.

Her head shoots up, but she stays still.

"Clare, what's going on?" Drew's voice calls through again.

She stands up, "Nothing Drew." she runs the faucet and then turns it off before exiting the bathroom. When she gets out Drew's leaning on the dresser.

"Just tell me." he sighs.

She crosses her arms and plants her feet on the ground. "What?"

"Clare, ever since…"

She cuts him off, "Camille's death."

He nods, "You've been out of it. Especially after Reese's birth. Clare."

"I don't…I don't want to talk about it."

"Please." he pleads, his eyes tearing up.

"What do you want me to say Drew? Huh? That my life is gone. I've lost everything. My head is a never ending tornado sucking up all the good in my life? Do you want me to say that?"

"No…"

"Then what do you want Drew?"

"I just…want you to talk to me…for the first time since two years ago. Actually open up and tell me what's going on?"

"Fine…you really want to know?"

He nods.

"I…I have panic attacks once a week. There's so much stress. Drew…I…I'm…" she breaks into sobs.

"Clare, it's just November. I…I think maybe you should get away."

"But…"

he cuts her off by pulling her into a hug, "Clare, Alli has been planning a girls trip for a while. And I think now's the perfect time ."

**_Author's Note: Well, what do you think?_**

**_I love REVIEWs_**

**_xoxoxo Cat_**


End file.
